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My Transformation from Skinny, Depressed, Heavily Bullied Nerd to International Dating Coach

2 years ago, I was unrecognisable.

I find it hilarious when people assume I’m some sort of genetically superior giga-chad who shot out of his mum with a 15-inch d!ck and a 6-pack.

And.. they’re right.

But it was 17 inches.

I kid.

I spent most of my life as a shy nerd with low self-esteem and clinically diagnosed social anxiety.

Social environments also confused the hell out of me.

I spent the majority of my adolescence as the skinniest kid in school.

Due to my tiny size and lack of social awareness, I was an easy target, so I was bullied horrendously.

I also developed pretty intense body dysmorphia due to being called ugly by so many of my classmates.

Which is why it’s so damn hilarious when people insinuate that I “Had it easy”

What I am is the product of 10 years of self-development.

In all facets.

Physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually.

If I was to meet with my past self, there’s no chance he would recognise me.

However, even though there has been a lot of internal and external renovations. I’m still a massive dork, the only difference is, I’m a dork who has a healthy as f*ck dating life.I would like to achieve.

But so, so far from where I started.

Today I’m going to share my story with you, the journey that led me on the path I’m on today.

An unfiltered account of how I went from socially impaired, skinny, low-self esteem nerd to the CEO of the top dating company in Australia.

I want to raw-dog your brain with my ridiculous journey.

And show you what’s possible.

If I was to pinpoint where my struggles with women was first seeded.

It would have been between the ages of 6 to 12.

I have always been pretty introverted.

My mother used to describe me as a “deep thinker”

I was highly imaginative and never really fit in.

Just imagine the stereotypical dork from any 90’s high school flick. That was me.

My twin brother (Josh), however,

yes, I have a twin,

non-identical, we look very different.

Josh was the most popular kid in school.

Imagine the high school football captain, king of the jocks.

That was him.

Now….children can be… cruel.

And myself, as an unusually small and scrawny kid, who was quiet and lacked confidence.

I was an easy target.

From a young age, I noticed people always trying to pander to josh, build rapport and put him on a pedistal.

Everyone just followed him.

He was a natural leader, but a tyrannical one when we were kids.

Josh bullied me a lot.

But it wasn’t just Josh bullying me that was the issue, if josh started picking on you, so did everyone else at school.

In primary school, it was an almost daily occurrence of kids calling me names, punching me, or pushing me to the ground for no reason.

Josh would also constantly punch me, tackle me, and dominate me physically purely because I was too small to fight back.

I was incredibly jealous of Josh’s popularity and social dominance. In particular how much attention he would get from girls.

Josh was also very good-looking… as for myself…….. let's say I peaked after uni.

Kids were pretty cruel when pointing out the obvious disparity between us.

I was often described as the ugly twin by the girls in the grade.

(If I sound bitter, it’s because I probably am).

Being constantly bombarded with evidence to my lack of value in a social context, I began cultivating a toxic internal dialogue.

Massive victim mentality.

I was convinced I was ugly and deep down I felt as if I was a burden like my presence was an inconvenience to people.

No girls liked me, I assumed it was because I was hideous.

This negative internal dialogue manifested itself as submissive behaviours such as becoming socially anxious, quiet, passive, people-pleasing and sensitive to indicators of disrespect which also made me emotionally reactive (ironically making me an easier target).

(Unfortunately, these behaviours and toxic belief systems followed me into adulthood)

Now,

I’m not writing this to prove how good I am at being a victim… I’m not a feminist.

I’m expressing where a lot of my internal bullsh!t came from which snowballed into my struggles with women later in life.

Obviously, school was not the kind of environment I would thrive in.

I also wasn’t the only target of the marauding bullies at school. my friends were all fcking weirdos too.

We were the chodes who used sticks as light-sabers, pretending to be Jedi’s at lunch break.

Instead of running around an oval chasing a ball like the “more socially integrated children.”

From a young age I was always enamoured by girls.

I was a horny little fcker.

In fact I began jacking off at the age of about 5.

No idea why,

I was doing it a lot and in really inappropriate places.

It got so bad that in first grade I was jacking off at my desk so much that the teacher had to start yelling out “hands above the table Ben”

Oh, miss Anne, I apologise for my deviant ways.

She would probably be delighted to know I still to this day indulge in public indecency from time to time.

Just usually it includes a partner…. However I will admit, the trench coat and public transport.. it hits different.

I spent the rest of my primary school life being picked on.

And frustrated as hell, since I loved girls, but it seemed they were all repulsed by me.

I would fall hopelessly in love with any girl who showed me even the slightest sign of kindness.

However, I built a fear around expressing my desires as I would be mercilessly picked on as soon as I showed a girl any interest.

Meanwhile every week there was a new girl who was “in love” with my brother.

Lacking any real reciprocation of my affections.

I was convinced I was incredibly unattractive.

Like hideous, the kind of face only a mother could love.

I remember distinctly when I was 13,

I was hopelessly in love with this fat girl with braces in my grade.

Let's call her Shelly.

After finally building the courage to tell her I liked her,

She thought it would be funny to kick me in the balls.

No shit.

Side note, I ended up having sex with that girl 10 years later.

Thankfully she’d learned the art of dieting.

Quite the funny story.

You get the picture.

I was toxic, with low self-esteem, a people-pleasing, meek, quiet, anxious little kid…

Who felt as if he didn’t fit in anywhere

And just wanted to be loved.

_____________________________________________________________

Now lets get to my first girlfriend.

Bec.

I was 15 at the time.

She was in the grade below me.

We used to talk on the bus from time to time.

She was a solid 3.5/10, anxious, sweaty with really low self-esteem.

We talked for a year before she made the first move.

on ye ol’ MSN messenger.

I thought it was a dream, I couldn’t believe my luck.

Maybe there is a god after all.

Unfortunately, god is a cruel deity.

We ended up dating for 8 months.

Talking on the phone every night and hanging out every weekend.

For the first time, I was being validated. And it felt damn good.

That was until she began to distance herself from me.

At about the 8-month mark, I began noticing her pulling back,

she stopped calling me as much and stopped showing me affection at school.

I racked my brain trying to figure out if it was something I’d said, something I’d done.

One day I just cracked the shits and stormed up to her after class.

I ask her if she wanted to break up.

She says “if that’s what you want.”

0 emotion on her face as she said it. She didn’t care.

I spent the rest of the week locked in my room, crying.

I soon learned Bec was now dating my best friend.

For context, I had been best friends with this guy since I was 5.

I then subsequently found out that she had been seeing him for over a month before we broke up.

Betrayed by the two people closest to me in the world.

Safe to say I was crushed.

My confused, emotional 15-year-old brain spiraled into a pretty dark place after that.

After having my best friend steal my beloved away from me I became depressed.

I also developed an obsession with my physical appearance.

I was convinced that if I was more attractive, this whole situation would never have happened.

I noticed that all the guys who got the most attention from women possessed a single physical trait.

Including all the Jocks at my school, as well as my brother.

They were all jacked!

In my rtarded 16-year-old brain, I truly believed I had found the solution.

I needed to get ripped.

I reasoned that sure, my face is fcking hideous.

But perhaps I can optimise my body, that way there’s a chance a girl might like me.

As a teenager, The most important metric for me to determine whether I was attracted to someone was their physical appearance.

I was so convinced that muscles were the solution that I never took a step back and questioned whether my entire paradigm may be incorrect, or that physical appearance may not be the most important metric for women.

I just assumed girls thought the same way as men when it came to attraction.

I was going to get fcking swol.

And once Bec sees my rippling striated triceps, she’ll regret trashing my heart.

I began lifting a pair of rusted weights in my backyard every day, I repeated this process for 6 months with literally 0 results to show for my efforts.

But I couldn’t quit, this was my only option,

Otherwise I would die alone.

Or worse, end up with a fat wife.

It’s crazy the amount of emotional leverage and motivation the pain from a breakup can give a man.

I was 50kg, 172cm tall, and so skinny that I looked like a holocaust survivor who developed a crack addiction.

Just before my 17th birthday, my physiotherapist introduced me to his trainer, who luckily for me, was amazing at his craft.

The dude was coaching some of the top natural bodybuilders in Queensland at the time.

He taught me the fundamentals of training, progressive overload, and most importantly, how to diet.

What he taught me was so damn effective, that to this day I still base a lot of my training principles on his!

I cannot explain how lucky I was to have such a great mentor so early on in this journey.

However, when I first started going to the gym, I hated it. I would loathe having to drag myself into the gym.

Every rep felt painful.

But I chose the pain over what seemed like my inevitable future copulating with whatever ogre would have me.

I faced a LOT of backlash at school when I first started training.

I was ridiculed heavily.

People would often talk sht when they saw me drinking a protein shake or reading bodybuilding magazines.

I’d always been “that skinny kid”

Me being anything different wasn’t in anyone's reality, and people don’t like when others attempt to improve themselves.

But I would just shut it out.

Telling myself “I’ll fcking show them.”

Within a year I went from 49kg to 73kg.

The newbie gains were real.

I was meticulous.

I never missed a workout, I never missed a meal, and I made sure I was in a calorie surplus every day.

And once I started seeing the fruits of my labour I fell in love with bodybuilding.

(except legs day, fck legs day).

I'd discovered my first passion.

My depression began to slip into the background.

I was for the first time, optimistic about the future.

People began to notice the confidence.

The bullying almost completely stopped by the time I finished high school.

At this point, I was 18 and 80 kg.

I believed that I now had some sort of social value because of my newly acquired gains like I could “flex my face away”

However, no matter how much muscle I would put on, deep down I still felt undesirable.

I began studying Dietetics at University due to my fascination with how diet can so drastically change how I looked and felt.

With the goal of one-day coaching bodybuilders as a sports dietitian.

Due to the newfound confidence around my body, I began to socialise a lot more.

I even built a small social circle with my classmates on campus.

By the time I was 19 I’d even begun trying to push myself out of my comfort zone regularly.

I look back fondly at this time of my life.

Sure I was still pretty awkward and wasn’t amazing with girls, but that passion and purpose I had truly boosted my confidence as I had finally found my place in the world.

That’s where I met Ash.

She was cute,

More importantly, she liked me.

And most importantly…. she had a fat booty.

We met while we were both living on campus at University (or college as you Americans like to call it).

We lived 2 doors down from each other.

We started talking one night while I was sitting on my stairs smoking a joint, She came storming out of her house angry after fighting with her mum on the phone.

I offered her a puff.

There was instant chemistry.

Probably because we both had deep self-esteem issues and hated ourselves.

A match made in heaven.

As you can tell we had a very healthy relationship…

She had major abandonment issues which she constantly projected onto me if I showed even the slightest indicator of disinterest or if things didn’t go EXACTLY how she would like them to.

This would culminate in an argument almost every day for the entirety of our 3-year relationship.

I wasn’t innocent though, I would stoke her insecurities by slut shaming the absolute fck out of her, due to her having had more sxual experience than me and I was too dumb to understand that I was insecure about my lack of experience.

We were co-dependent, literally relying on each other for self-esteem.

Most of our time was filled with either studying, fighting, or fcking.

During the relationship, unbeknown to me, I slowly began isolating myself from my friends, I started to avoid social environments and sunk very deep into my comfort zone.

Not long after our 3-year anniversary,

I get the “We need to talk”

I had noticed that over the previous few months, she had begun going on more “girls nights”, and joined a gym and our sex life was non-existent.

I was too inexperienced to see the warning signs.

But that’s what we call emotional detachment.

She had been slowly breaking up with me in her head over the previous 6 months until finally, she hit a point where she cared less about my feelings than her freedom.

She sat me down and expressed to me that she wanted to end things.

I remember vividly how little emotion there was in her eyes.

De ja vu, right?

My world was crashing down around me,

There was a lump in my throat the size of an elephant.

The world was spinning around me like I was stuck in a centrifuge.

Yet she didn’t shed a single tear.

It was as If someone had just turned the lights off.

I began begging her to stay, that we could work things out, that I couldn’t live without her (ugh)

As I plead on my knees, the only detectable emotion on her face was disgust.

She expressed that she didn’t love me anymore,

She wanted to see other people.

“But we can still be friends”

I could have thrown up after hearing that.

It felt patronising, as if she was offering food scraps to a homeless person.

Then she was gone.

And once again I was alone in the world.

I spent the next 6 months in a deep depression after the breakup.

Scheming of ways I would “win her back”

I was convinced she was my soul mate, and I would never find another woman with whom I connected so deeply.

I began having frequent panic attacks,

It got so bad that I started to avoid going out in public due to the fear I would have an attack at any moment.

I often fantasised about how much easier it would be to just end it all.

It’s crazy how irrational we can become when it comes to women.

There is no logic to it, only raw, deep, red, pulsing emotion.

My brain aggressively ruminated on the pain, almost blinding me.

The world felt as if it had a vale thrown over it, and I was living in my head 24/7, just stewing in painful thoughts and nostalgia.

_____________________________________________________________

I began to slowly crawl out of my funk at the 6-month mark.

The stages of grief are genuine.

I had begrudgingly come to accept that she was no longer going to be a part of my life.

It was time to start putting myself out there.

At this point I had barely socialised for years, I didn’t have many friends and I had clinical social anxiety.

There is one habit I never stopped during the relationship or the breakup.

Bodybuilding.

I had remained meticulous with my training and diet throughout the entire ordeal because I truly believed, still, that it was the only thing in the world that gave me any value as a man.

I was 90 kg and lean, in the best shape of my life.

I created a tinder account.

I assumed it shouldn’t be too hard, given the shape I was in.

I started feverishly swiping

got a few matches

And even found myself on a couple of dates.

However!

Every single date I went on, the girl was.. how do I say this lightly..

“Not as advertised”.

Even if it wasn’t a complete catfish, they were ALWAYS at least a few points lower in real life than their photos.

Worse than that,

No girl wanted to see me again.

This rejection hurt. a lot.

It was fcking with my reality because some of these girls were VERY unattractive.

I was still convinced that muscle and body fat percentage was the most important metric to success with women.

Yet there I am, 9% body fat, being rejected by women who were probably more body fat than women.

This is when I began to realise that my entire paradigm around what women find attractive was wrong.

I realised the reason why my muscles made such a huge difference when I first began bodybuilding wasn’t necessarily just the muscles, but the confidence I built alongside them.

Being on my purpose and watching myself improve day in and day out built my self-esteem in the first few years of my journey.

However, once the confidence was taken away after years of a toxic relationship and a traumatic breakup, all of a sudden I’m being treated like a bad smell again.

Once I realised that my view of the world was wrong, I FINALLY accepted the fact that I had no fcking idea what women wanted.

I began to feel like that kid once more, unlovable and confused.

In a moment of quiet desperation, I googled “how do I become more attractive to women”

and I was subsequently sucked down the rabbit hole of the dating community

I dove straight into YouTube.

This is where I discovered the ancient art of cold-approach.

Discovering that I could just walk up to any stranger, on the street, at a mall, or at uni, literally wherever, start a conversation and potentially turn that into a romantic encounter.

It blew my mind.

The fact that success with women wasn’t stagnant and based purely on my physical appearance, but a skill that could be learned and improved upon.

This freed me.

Knowing that I didn’t have to stay this way.

That I didn’t have to continue being rejected by 4’s on tinder.

I began approaching women every day (because the internet told me to).

My goal was simple: to meet and connect with a woman who I deemed as high or higher quality than my ex.

My first few approaches were…. Awful.

Being swiftly rejected,

Developing PTSD with each failed attempt.

Taking an hour to build the courage to do it again.

Nothing builds your confidence like being told to “fck off” by a stranger you just complimented.

These types of reactions continued for longer than I’d like to admit.

However I don’t blame them, I was a needy, socially inept, validation-starved weirdo with a toxic mindset who needed to have his ego destroyed.

I began to feel pretty defeated and my old belief systems began creeping back in.

Given the tsunami of negative social feedback, I was facing.

I started to wonder whether I’d been duped,

Maybe it wasn’t a skill I could improve upon.

Maybe my sxual value was stagnant and based purely on the angle of my jawline and the depth of my bicep insertions.

However, I figured that due to sheer volume, at some point I was bound to find at least one person who would like me.

But accepted I was probably doomed to live out my disfigured life, alone.

Only being consoled by a crusty sock under my bed and e-thots.

But something told me to keep going.

I believe my experience with bodybuilding really assisted me in these early days.

It taught me so much about discipline.

I understood the power of making tiny 0.01% changes every day, even if the impact of those actions is not necessarily discernible on a day-to-day basis.

One day while on YouTube

I stumbled upon a coach who I felt had really good energy

Let's call him Shane

He was a dating coach from Vienna, in this video, he was coaching a bunch of guys somewhere in Europe.

I resonated with his content.

I ended up binge watching his sht all night.

The next day the weirdest coincidence of my life happened to me.

As I am aimlessly browsing the cereals at my local grocery store

I look to my right,

And there he is.

The dating coach I’d been watching all last night.

Shane.

With his camera crew

He was buying some random vegan sh!t.

I had to rub my eyes at first.

I sheepishly hobble over to him, breaking eye contact when he noticed this 90kg gorilla walking suspiciously slowly toward him.

I introduce myself and tell him I love his sh!t.

He thanked me and adds me on Facebook.

The dude was incredibly chill,

He had a certain intimidating presence.

Turns out he was going to be living in my city for the next 6 months.

He tells me to message him and heads off.

I walk home in a daze as to the sheer coincidence I just witnessed.

At this time I was a militant atheist, so I chopped the entire thing up to pure coincidence.

But I had to admit to myself it was a fcking weird coincidence.

I messaged him on Facebook but didn’t get a reply.

I look at my phone and had a missed call from Shane.

It had been almost 3 weeks since I’d met him and I’d spent the entirety of those weeks following the same routine every day:

- Go to uni

- approach a girl

- get rejected by girl

- go home and smoke a joint to assist with the emotional damage.

- sleep and repeat.

I give him a buzz back,

He answers in his chill, almost slow-mo tone.

Then explains to me that he is running a live boot camp program in a week, and asked if I wanted to join it.

I was super interested,

until he told me the price.

My eyes almost popped out of my head.

I had savings and could afford it.

But I planned on travelling after finishing my degree, and this would put quite a dent in those savings.

So like the d!ckhead I was. I declined him.

He was surprised, purely due to how excited I was to meet him those weeks ago.

He even pushed a little, but there was no budging me, in my head, it was too much for just a weekend of coaching.

2 weeks later I see a testimonial on his YouTube channel, turns out it was the program I’d been invited to.

I see the guys having so much fun, chatting to and kissing girls. And one of the guys even took a girl home!

I convince myself it’s because they’re better looking than me.

I didn’t want to admit to myself I was the one getting in my way.

A month goes by and I am feeling dejected. Still barely any noticeable improvements.

I was feverishly watching videos on youtube, joining facebook groups, and learning all of these random theories, techniques, and contradicting information from a plethora of different coaches.

With no real foundation or idea of how I should implement them or whether they even worked. Or whether they were even qualified sources.

As I attempted to implement these unnecessary techniques into my repertoire, I was so stuck in my head that I could barely communicate.

I felt as if I was going in the wrong direction.

Trying to identify the holes in my learning process,

I started to think back to the beginning of my journey with bodybuilding,

It’s what I felt was my only real achievement up to this point in my life.

I began honestly contemplating how crucial my trainer had been in my bodybuilding journey.

Remembering how I spent 6 months before being coached, lifting weights 6 days a week, with 0 results.

I realised I was following the same pattern.

I admitted to myself that I needed help.

Just like I did with bodybuilding.

Not long after having this realisation,

Shane asks me to jump on his next program.

I agreed to get coaching immediately,

no convincing necessary.

The following weekend was the most intense of my life.

I had never been pushed so far out of my comfort zone.

Shane put a lot of effort into breaking down my belief systems and giving me a basic structure to follow when going into interactions.

For the first time, I didn’t feel lost.

It was not a magic pill.

But it was exactly what I needed.

Luckily for me, Shane took a liking to me,

He would come out with me regularly for the next few months, (whenever he had time to go out).

And in the coming months, implementing everything I had learned from Shane,

I even had my first one-night stand.

I was still getting rejected.. a lot.

But I was improving finally.

Once I began to see improvements, I became obsessed.

Funny, I followed the same pattern with cold-approach as with bodybuilding when it came to motivation.

Originally I hated every moment of it, and it was a grind, but I persevered due to the amount of emotional leverage I had.

Then once results began to show, and I had a road map of what I needed to work on to continue improving, I fell in love with the process.

Either way, I was making those tiny 0.1% improvements, every day. Not noticeable on a day-to-day basis, but when taking a step back and seeing the bigger picture, huge changes were being made.

Not long after Shane left Australia I met my next mentor.

Chad (The name may sound familiar if you’ve read Alex’s backstory).

I met him through a local self-development community in Brisbane.

To this day, Chad is still one of the best I’ve ever seen.

EVER.

He is what we call a super-natural.

He took a liking to me because I was motivated as fck and provided a lot of value when it came to bodybuilding.

We would go out together multiple times per week.

He was frustrating to go out with,

because within a few minutes of entering any venue,

Chad would be in the corner of the club making out with a hottie, and I’d be left standing there feeling like a total loser.

Or he’d have an entire group of girls just fawning over him, almost like they were in a trance, and he was a hypnotist.

It was damn impressive, and to me, at the time it looked like witchcraft.

But it showed me what was possible.

During this period, I also began to realise how much of what is taught on the internet is absolute bullsht.

I would watch Chad break what I thought to be fundamental laws of attraction, And it was as if it would make girls like him even MORE!

It opened my eyes as to how much terrible information there is out there.

And thankfully made me more skeptical of which coaches I would listen to.

By sheer osmosis, I began to improve as well.

By the end of the year, I had become reasonably proficient.

Consistent with getting numbers

I was going on a lot of dates

I was even having a decent amount of.. ahem.. “intimate” experiences.

And most importantly, my confidence had improved 10 fold.

But even though I was experiencing some success, I still wasn’t satisfied with the quality of the women I was dating.

I Completed my dietetics degree in early 2018,

Finally, after 5 years of study and grinding, I had a piece of paper that showed I had learned some sh!t about food and nutrition.

I had always planned on going travelling after completing my degree, as I knew I wouldn’t get another chance once I began my career as a sports dietitian (which was my goal at the time).

And given I was now obsessed with living out my wildest, weirdest fantasies, I decided I would go over there and master my dating life at the same time as travel.

A “pilgrimage of pu$$y”

I booked my flights to Europe, with no return date.

Not long before flying out, I met Mr Alex King.

I met him through the same community where I’d met Chad a year earlier.

Alex was this shy, pale, skinny, bug-eyed kid.

But F*CK he took some action.

We also bonded over the fact he had come to the community after a traumatic breakup. Just like myself.

So I began inviting him out with myself and Chad.

We all went out together a few times before I left.

Chad even decided he would take Alex under his wing once I’d left.

Then before I knew it, I was in Europe.

I wanted to do some touristy shit, go on some walking tours, see some churches, and attempt to irreparably alter the gene pool of Europe.

It was about to get weird.

I spent the next 8 months traveling Europe,

obsessively going out 7 nights a week,

I had SO many insane experiences.

And connected with so many beautiful humans.

My mindset for the entire trip was:

"My life is a movie, I’m the main character, director, and producer, let's make it a fcking blockbuster".

So I attempted to get WAY out of my comfort zone, which put me in some weird situations.

Such as the time I got blind drunk and had sx with a hot Slovakian girl on a crowded dance floor in Berlin.

Or the time I hooked up with an American girl in Croatia on a sunbed on the rooftop of a multi-million dollar yacht while being served champagne.

Or the time I hooked up with a girl in the hostel showers while her date went out for a smoke, then got locked in a park next to the coliseum for 12 hours together after being chased by police due to our “public indecency…” Not my fault, I thought public fornication was merely frowned upon, not illegal.

I was having experiences I literally couldn’t have imagined just a few years earlier.

I was doing things I never believed I would be capable of.

This was a really, really happy period of my life.

No return date, With only a small backpack and my lifes savings to burn.

_____________________________________________________________

8 months into my journey I was forced to return home after my dad became gravely ill.

That was an emotional 24 hours of flying, wondering whether I’ll ever see my dad again.

Once I landed I learned that dad had made a spontaneous recovery while I was in the air.

I cannot describe my relief.

However, he would need a few months of rehab before returning home.

I decided to stay in Australia to support the family and help with dads rehab.

In the meantime I began going out in Brisbane again, meeting up with old wingmen.

One particular night, I was assisting a friend of mine take home some Swedish "gronks".

We get back to his place and he decides he wants his girl to stay.

However, I was not interested in copulating with the nutritionally undisciplined friend.

I call her a cab and take her downstairs.

After sending her home, I run into Alex King.

I had no idea he lived in the same building as my buddy.

He was holding hands with an absolute stunner.

It looked wrong because he was such a dweeby-looking dude.

And she was WAY out of his league.

But I wasn’t hallucinating,

There he is, strutting through the lobby, post-orgasmic glow, with an actual 10.

And she was almost skipping as she walked, looking at him like he was the most beautiful thing in the world.

He puts her in a cab, she kissed him goodbye.

He runs over to me and immediately starts gloating about how he just took home the hottest girl in the club.

I had to admit, she probably was.

We then spent the rest of the night telling stories and sharing experiences from the past 8 months.

I even slept on his couch that night.

The second 10 to be in his apartment that evening 😉

Alex had just completed a 5-day immersion program with one of the top dating coaches in Australia at the time.

He’d also been mentored by Chad since I’d left.

Going out every chance he got.

It blew my mind because when I’d left, Alex was a meek chode who could barely hold a conversation.

He had made an impressive transformation, in a very short time.

Even better, he was as obsessed with leveling up his dating life as I was.

We then spent the next few months going out 4 times a week, sharing lessons, experiences as well as the theories and philosophies he’d learned while on the program.

By the time I was meant to be heading back to Europe, I was dating multiple girls.

Which was another first for me.

I was still far from where I wanted to be, and I still wasn’t bringing in the quality of girls I wanted.

In other words, I was slaying a lot of dragons, but only the occasional princess.

Don’t judge me, dragons need loving too.

(although still a million times better than the tinder days).

I was still riddled with a deep sense of inadequacy.

It annoyed me that getting validated wasn’t netting me the self-love that I was hoping for.

But I knew the answer. If hooking up with girls wasn’t making me happy. Maybe what I needed was….

More girls!

And hotter girls!

That’s gotta, be it!

So the rampage of degeneracy continued.

Once dad was back at home and finished rehab, I decided I would head back to Europe.

To my surprise, Alex King decided he wanted to come with me.

The dude quit his lucrative job in the mines to go on debaucherous adventures with an autistic gorilla he’d known less than a year.

What a great life decision.

Alex’s decision to come traveling was a defining moment in my life.

This may sound somewhat narcissistic, but I truly believe the universe forced me to come back home to reconnect with Alex.

If things hadn't gone down the way they did, I would be living a VERY different, and probably less fulfilling life than what I am now.

Before I knew it, I was back in Europe.

The next year was a haze of women, weed smoke, and the never-ending search for protein shakes.

Myself and Alex had pretty much the same goals.

See the world, have the adventure of a lifetime, and most importantly: Master our dating lives.

We spent the next full year going out 7 nights a week, meeting, connecting, and hooking up with beautiful women all around the world.

During this period there were many highs and many lows,

Highs like the time we set up an orgy at a water park.

Or Copenhagen, when I stole a girl from a group of 10 aggressive co-workers all trying to bang her at their annual Christmas party.

Or the time I took a french girls virginity and she subsequently got a sizeable tattoo as a memoir of our adventures.

And lows like my 4-week dry spell in Phuket, while going out every single night.

However, as the year progressed, the lows became more and more infrequent.

Growth truly is compounding, and once you grasp a skill, things begin progressing MUCH faster.

It’s funny, during this year as I became better with women, I wasn’t able to go to the gym.

As a result, I lost most of my muscle mass.

It was surreal, watching my results with women improve as the muscles melted off my body.

Completely obliterating the remnants of my old conditioning.

I was the smallest I’d been since high school,

Yet I was doing better with women than I ever thought possible.

During the year we also worked with some of the top dating coaches in the world, as well as some of the biggest underground guys.

Building a deep understanding of the internal belief systems necessary to become attractive,

As well as learning advanced social skills and improving our ability to influence those around us.

In our obsessive pursuit to become social wizards, we attempted to make the process of learning each new skill as scientific as possible,

Applying a skill or principle while controlling variables as much as possible,

keeping what worked,

and discarding what didn’t.

Meticulously breaking down our social interactions.

Putting years of combined experience, from numerous coaches and mentors as well as lessons we learned from guys who were just naturally good with women.

And building a catalogue of advanced social skills.

Understanding the principles behind why certain social skills would produce certain results.

Thus being able to break down and simplify the entire process.

It got to a point near the end of the year,

where we became so proficient at cold-approach that we would arrive at a new city.

And within a few days, we would be dating high-quality women.

Bringing women into my life had become effortless.

It’s almost like a switch in my reality had been flicked.

All of a sudden Women were just pouring into my life.

And I was doing a fraction of the work.

Everything began synergistically lining up.

And the flood never stopped.

I was also dating girls WAY out of my league.

No shit, one of the girls I was hooking up with in Barcelona had a professional football player inviting her to travel the world with him.

This girl was also a doctor and a professional model.

And instead of going on private helicopter rides and expensive hotels with professional athletes.

There she is, laying in bed with some schlep who approached her at bar.

(yeah, true story).

I can say, without a doubt that mastering my dating life has been the most transformative endeavor I have ever embarked on.

Becoming a man my younger self would be proud of

as well as countless amazing memories and connections.

The movie was turning out to be a blockbuster.

Sitting on a literal mountain of social interactions, advanced social skills, and an almost psychic understanding of female psychology.

We realised the amount of value we had to share with the world.

And subsequently, we embarked on the mission that we’re currently on today.

Creating the most powerful, transformative, and relatable dating and self-development company on the planet.

So guys who come from the same place as ourselves can achieve what we have, except in a fraction of the time.

Life is shorter than we would like it to be.

The connections we make during this journey tend to be the most fulfilling experiences of our (on average) 78 revolutions we get around the sun.

Being able to spend that time with the people we choose to is one of the most rewarding skills we can cultivate.

The journey of learning success with women will net more emotional fortitude and internal growth than any other endeavor on this planet.

I can say positively, there is no greater journey of self-development.

It has netted me improvements in literally ALL facets of my life.

Relationships, health, and wealth.

In the end, the partner we choose is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives.

Often dictating the overall happiness of our lives.

This is why I’m so damn passionate about sharing what I have learned throughout this journey.

If I can do it.

So can you.

For all those guys who came from a similar place as myself.

toxic mindset

low self-esteem

self-hate

clueless

hopeless

and socially anxious

You don’t have to stay that way

Sure, it will take some work,

But take it from me, you are more capable than you could ever imagine.

You will be surprised by how much you can achieve.

Even if it seems like a pipe dream right now.

Don’t let your potential go to waste.

You’re worth more than you know.

You’re worthy of having the life you’ve always fantasised about.

All you have to do is show up.

A brighter future is inevitable.

I thank my old self every day for not giving up, even when I wanted to, so many times.

And you will too my friend.

Trust me.

Love you.

Ben.

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